The L Word
by loveadubdub
Summary: "They're like a family. A really effed up, dysfunctional, incestuous family, but a family nonetheless." Puck's PoV on glee and all the people involved.


**THE L WORD**

He's only ever said the L word to one girl.

To Quinn.

It was weird, and he still isn't sure where it came from. He supposes it must have just been emotions running high after he saw her push seven and a half pounds of perfection out of her cooch. Yes, he knows that sounds completely vulgar and disgusting, but seriously? It _was. _He should have watched a video or something beforehand- _something _to prepare him for that. It was the grossest thing he'd ever seen in his life, and that includes that porn video about the two chicks and the shit. He wanted to either pass out or just leave, but Quinn seemed pissed enough at him for some reason, so he figured it was safer for his life and for his junk if he stuck around and conscious.

But then the baby was there. And she was like seriously the most beautiful baby ever. Not that he ever doubted that since, duh, look at her parents. But it was just ridiculous how beautiful and perfect she was.

He sort of hates that he has to talk about her in the past tense.

He held her once. She took almost half a bottle from him. And she looked at him the whole time- eyes wide and curious. He's glad everyone else was gone by then because he cried a little bit, but he knows Quinn won't tell. She cried, too. A lot. He didn't know why she wanted to go through with it if it made her so upset- he still isn't positive. But then his phone buzzed, and it was Santana. He checked the text- just two words.

"We lost."

Quinn cried more after that. He isn't sure why. Maybe she was just super emotional, or maybe she just really likes to win and glee was her only chance after she got kicked off the Cheerios. He doesn't know. He hopes it's number one because if it's number two, that's totally lame. But he plays for McKinley, so he's used to losing. He probably can't relate.

They hung out after that- just her and him and Beth. Quinn kept telling him not to call her that, but he couldn't help it. She was his kid. He should be allowed to name her even if he was only going to have her for one night. Quinn finally gave up. But then they sent the baby to the nursery, and things went really weird. Quinn asked him if he loved her, and he said yes.

And maybe it wasn't a lie.

But he and Quinn aren't together. They'll never be together again probably. They only ever had sex that one time, and any time he ever tried to talk her into it again, she'd grab his hand and threaten to break his fingers if he touched her. She doesn't like him that way, and he isn't really that into her, either. Yeah, he'd probably fuck her again if the opportunity came up (he'd double bag it, for sure), but she isn't somebody he wants to call his girlfriend or anything like that. And anyway, the opportunity _won't _come up again.

They went back to school after that- back to school and back to glee where everything was the same yet totally different. He knows liking that shit makes him half-gay or something, but he can't help it. It's sort of fun, and they're pretty good. Or at least he _thought _they were pretty good. Until they lost. But whatever, it probably wasn't fair in the first place. There's a general consensus among the team that Coach Sylvester fucked them on purpose. Rachel, though, says they shouldn't have won anyway.

"Vocal Adrenaline was better."

She's the only one who would know. She's the only one who stayed to watch instead of going to the hospital. At first, he thought it was kind of a shitty move on her part, but then Mr. Schue sort of made sense of it and said Rachel'd been through a lot lately so maybe it'd be hard on her… Then he kind of felt bad for thinking it was a shit move. He knows what it's like to have a parent who doesn't want you, so he isn't going to bag on her for that. He thinks it might be even worse now that Ms Corcoran adopted Beth. If anything, it makes her and Rachel sort of sisters.

Quinn freaked out when he brought that up, but by then, it was too late.

Rachel's not that bad, though. Not really. Not once you look past her bossiness, her compulsive need to be right, her complete anal-retentiveness, and her overall psychotic tendencies. But underneath all that, she's not like a horrible person or anything. She's not as bad as some of their teammates try to make her out to be anyway. Quinn acts like she's Satan half the time, and Mercedes is pretty much nice to everyone _but _her. Kurt… Well, Kurt is just straight up jealous of her, and even a blind person could see that. She sings better than him, _and _she stole his boyfriend.

Honestly, Rachel is pretty nice. She may be crazy, but her heart's in the right place. God, he can't even believe some of the gay shit that pops in his head now that he's joined Homo Explosion. But whatever, it's true. Rachel _wants _them to be good, and even when she's being totally psycho, she's usually at least doing it because she thinks she's being helpful. She isn't nearly as rude to Quinn or Mercedes or Kurt or any of the others as they are to her. She isn't even rude to _him, _and he threw slushies at her for the better part of three years.

But seriously, how _could _she be rude to him when he was the first guy who ever saw her bra. (He knows it, she told him).

And Rach is sort of hot, too. Her boobs are nonexistent, and her nose is Jewish enough to please even _his _mom. But she's got a banging body, and even though her nose is totally disproportionate to the rest of her face, she's really pretty, too. And she dresses like some sort of school girl fantasy all the time, but he's not sure if she actually does that on purpose or if she just likes teeny tiny skirts and knee socks. Either way, he isn't complaining.

And she's the only person in the whole entire school who calls him Noah. Sometimes, if she's especially angry, she'll call him Puckerman, but she never calls him Puck. He isn't sure why, but he thinks it might have something to do with the fact that they were partnered up together in Hebrew School when they were little and learning the Shema. She was crazy even then, correcting him on all his pronunciations and intonations. And when he finally snapped at her that he really didn't give a shit, she tattled on him and asked for a new partner.

He wonders if she remembers that. He's sure she does.

But still, there's something about the fact that she calls him Noah that's incredibly sexy. During the short period where they made out on a regular basis, she used to say it really softly and in this completely badass kind of voice that could almost make him come in his pants. And there's still a part of him that would love to know what it sounds like being screamed, but yeah, that ain't gonna happen now. Rachel's with Finn, like for real. And that's probably how it's supposed to be.

He's not going to take another girl from Finn. He learned his lesson last time. Finn's a good guy, and he doesn't deserve to be fucked over like that. He never did apologize to him for the whole Quinn thing, but maybe he doesn't have to. Things seem almost back to normal, so maybe it's water under the bridge, and they can all just move on. Finn and Quinn aren't right for each other anyway- just like he and Quinn aren't. Finn and Rachel compliment each other, and she's totally in love with him in a way Quinn never was.

But he feels a bit of an unexplained protectiveness over Rachel, so Finn better not fuck her over or anything. If he ever sees that Jesse St. Jackass again, he's going to ruin that kid's chance of ever becoming a star based on looks. He wants to hurt that kid- like badly. He wants to punch his face in and make him bleed and shit, and he isn't even really sure why. He knows, though, that it has less to do with Jesse fucking the club over and a lot more to do with him fucking Rachel over.

He's finding that he's feeling that way about most of the chicks in glee- like he wants to protect them and defend their honor and shit. They're like his sisters or something, even though he's made out or more with most of them. Well, not Mercedes- but he did kiss her once. And not Tina, but that wouldn't be so bad. Asian chicks are hot. Plus, one of her last names is Cohen, so she's got to be at least half-Jewish even if he hasn't ever like seen her at Temple or anything.

But Quinn? Check. Rachel? Almost check. Brittany and Santana? Double check.

Santana's his go-to girl. She has been since the summer before freshman year when they ended up naked in her pool while he was supposed to be cleaning it. He got paid thirty bucks for losing his virginity. It was pretty sweet. They "dated" for like a month after that, but they ended up hating each other pretty much. She was mean and bossy and demanded he do things like get his mom to drive them to the movies to watch girly movies that he hated. She always told him he was an asshole and that she couldn't stand him. It was pretty fucked up.

They're still like that to a degree, though, he's got his own truck and can drive now. But she still demands he do shit like that sometimes, and he still gives in because she gives one hell of a blow job. She still calls him an asshole, and he calls her a bitch. But they still make out kind of a lot, and he still fucks her at least twice a month usually. They just do it with no strings attached because they really kind of hate each other. She gets mad jealous whenever he's with another girl, though, and she always pays him back by being a total cocktease, and he always, _always _falls for it.

Santana is the hottest girl ever. She just sort of oozes sex appeal when she walks. She's hotter than like Quinn and Rachel put together. But whereas Quinn tries to cover up her sexy side with cross necklaces and Jesus talk and Rachel is probably totally oblivious to her own, Santana knows it and owns it. And knowing you're that hot can make a girl super-bitch. Which is exactly what Santana is. But whatever, it's worth it- her mouth alone is worth it.

The only thing hotter than Santana, though, is Santana and Brittany. _Together. _And that isn't too hard to make happen. He knows lots of girls occasionally kiss each other because they think it makes them look hot (it usually does), but he's never seen two girls as into each other as Brittany and Santana. Sometimes they make out when no one's even around to watch- he knows because Santana told him. He isn't sure if they're gay or like bi or anything, but he guesses it doesn't matter. Maybe they just really like making out with each other. He sure the fuck isn't going to complain.

They're best friends, though. _Soul mates, _Santana said once. They love each other. It's weird because they're really nothing alike, but maybe they need each other to balance or something. Britt is way nicer than Santana. She's that kind of person that no one has beef with because she's too damn sweet to create any sort of drama whatsoever.

Britt's cute. She's also like the most flexible girl in the entire world, so that doesn't hurt. Like seriously, her legs bend in ways that shouldn't be humanly possible. Their little sisters are friends, and sometimes she brings her sister over for a play date and then goes upstairs to his room, and he rocks her world. Santana really hates that. She doesn't like when he's with anyone, but she takes real offense when it's Brittany. He's pretty sure it's just because she wants to join in, but every time he brings it up, she looks at him like some disgusting maggot and calls him a dick. Oh, well. It doesn't stop his fun time with Britt. She's nice and sort of freaky. She always wants him to kiss her armpits, but whatever, she's got really good hygiene, so it's cool. If that Glist was any sort of real legit, she totally would have made the top three.

But that's where his interest in Brittany ends. She's sweet, but she's dumb. Like really fucking dumb. Like dumber than Finn dumb. And that's pretty damn dumb. But it's okay. Brittany isn't into him. Brittany isn't into anyone. She's pretty much just into everyone.

Britt and Santana make glee a little less lame than it would be otherwise. Them and, to a certain extent, Finn, Matt, Mike, and even Quinn, now that she's no longer the pregnant outcast. Cheerios always make everything better- that's something he knows for a fact. So it's not all that bad. Yeah, sure, every once in awhile, someone tries to throw a slushie at him. But that's a rarity. Most people are still pretty scared of him. He makes sure they don't do that shit to anyone else, too. Like Rachel. Or, you know, whoever.

He isn't completely lame, so he isn't going to say glee is awesome or has like totally changed his life or anything, but it's not that bad. They don't sing an overabundance of stupid gay shit, and sometimes they actually get to do pretty pimp numbers. But it's not all about the music, either. It's more about the people- that's what makes them a team. He won't lie and say he didn't feel a little bad when they thought it was all over. Hell, even Santana fucking Lopez shed a few tears. She can try to say it was allergies or some shit, but they all know the truth.

But whatever, they're sort of like a family. A really fucked up, dysfunctional, _incestuous _family. But whatever, they're not that far from the Kentucky border, so it's not _that _weird.

But yeah, he may have only ever said the L word to one girl, but he could probably say it to that whole damn team and mean it.

And no, that doesn't mean he's into dudes.

**A/N: Thanks for reading- short but sweet!**


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